Here is list of questions we should all be asking.

Now that I had a quick word on what marriage is to me, what does it mean to you? Do you want to get married? What are expecting to get marriage? Do you want children? Who will do what? Do you want until death? Term? How will handle everyday activities?

Why would you get married? Who what type of person are you looking for?

Why do you want to get married? Love? Duty and social obligation?   Do you want a family? How many children?

What is the plan for conflict resolution? Who will perform what tasks? What is the priority?

How often should you talk about money? When to start?   I think you should exchange bank information before having sex. I will explain in one of my next thoughts.

It would be nice there was some sort of template people could follow, some way to know what to expect.  In the past we just did what are parents and grand parents did. Social, Cultural pressure some would say about these traditions.  But it did mostly work. Else you would not be here.

It is good, nay we must have freedom when it comes to marriage, and lifestyle.  But we, as a society have lost a great deal.  We need to stop and review. Clearly as marriages are breaking down, so is society. This because society binds us by the rules imposed, indoctrinated by the family. In return, society must have an objective to keep families together. To produce well functioning families.

The objective of marriage is to propagate, not just the species. In fact, the species may be the least issue of propagation or the least reason. It's to proper gates to continue the culture. The society, the values of the people. This is why people are worried about declining birth rates. We are willingly ending our future.

We invite lots of people to our wedding not only to celebrate, but to witness the vows. To bear witness also means to help them live within, and towards those vows. It is our duty as a wedding guest to keep those people married.

Marriage is so important to society that many cultures do not let people pick who they are going to marry. From the jungles of south America, to India, arranged marriages are the way. Although this does interfere with a woman a natural selection. That is a major drawback. Woman can subconsciously pick men that will produce the best children. They are attracted to a man’s smell, through that they react to their immune system and hormone levels. They then apply conscious filters. Online dating and hookups and the hormonal birth control broke all that as well.

In china there are many rules to find a husband.

Many cultures in Europe gave woman a choice or two. This lets woman natural selection pick the best of the cultural selection.  In a classical American tradition, she would bring home a man for the father to filter.   The man would then have to ask the lady’s father for permission to marry.  She wants, needed to have parental approval.

Woman choice who date are date, men choice what woman get married. There are few pages of thought on everything between.

Even with all this there is no guarantee of a good marriage.   

What is a good marriage and why they are so important? Marriage is sacrifice to the point you live without transgression. If both people in the marriage do not feel burdened by each other. Kids, job, finances, those are different. Needless long-term burden from spouses, not what we have to do is a problem. Resentment, trying to be one up, always right, win the argument. These traits will be death of just about any relationship.

 The concept of living transgression free, always considering the impact of your actions on others, this what makes a strong cohesive marriage and society. Marriage are little societies.  

As families grew into clans, clans into tribes, our ancestors figured this out. Globally.

 The Mohawks had rules that allowed for a woman natural selection, culture rules about what clams can inter marry. This led to tribal peace and genetic variation.

We lost most of this in our free lifestyles.  Almost every last bit of it.  Even the term matriarchy and patriarchy now have nothing to do with what they really are. We no longer under the value, and the need to for marriage. If you think marriage is a sheet, just a sheet of people. Don’t bother. That sheet of paper is what government needs to divide your assets.

If you need a template of a proper man, and template the ideal woman, to have good marriages, then where do we look?

Here is another way to prepare for marriage.  Write down everything, even what is wrong with you. Then everything you want to fix. Write the same for your future spouse.  Then talk about it if you can. It will not be easy. Try to get the whys. Those whys, not having them is part of what caused my fall the last time.

The hardest truth is not the reality you feel or believe, but the reality of who and what you really you.  And it is very hard to see yourself as you are. I also speak of personal experience.

You may become so bitter that one day you will not see the good, neutral or even reality.

Why do you think you are worthy of marriage? Can you prove it? On what evidence and judging against what set of rules and values?  Are they the same as your future spouse?